Independent traveller

If the idea of traveling by yourself scares you a little, lean into that feeling and explore it. What are you worried about most, and what’s the worst that can happen if it comes true? What are the actual odds that, if you’re smart and aware of your surroundings, something incredibly awful will happen to you? We humans like to think we make our choices objectively, based on logic, but in reality we spend a lot of time chasing feelings: it’s not necessarily a great career that we want, it’s the feeling of being successful; it’s not necessarily luminous skin or a slim waistline that we specifically want – it’s to feel beautiful. The same can be said of the feelings we don’t want to experience. So, be honest: Is it really just a feeling that you’re afraid of? Are you worried about feeling embarrassed, lost, or lonely?
The choices that push our boundaries and make us a little uncomfortable are usually the ones that reward us the most for taking them.
Here are my favorite reasons to travel solo:
1. Traveling solo by design forces you to learn how to be alone with yourself. I think it’s critical that women know how to do this, as an integral part of personal development. When you travel alone, there is no default person always at your side, someone to always talk to, to provide companionship. Your companion is you, so it’s to your advantage to quiet the negative voices and be okay in your own head. Solo travel forces you to get okay with you.
2. Solo travel serves as an incubator for developing a sense of independence and self-reliance. As a woman, when you travel with a man, everyone always assumes he’s in charge, which can encourage you to become lazy and just start acting like he is. Even I’ve been known to do this, especially in Spanish-speaking countries because my boyfriend is nearly fluent while I’m only semi-conversational, and he gets very irritated when I do (when we went to Italy recently, though, my Italian came back to me quickly and I led the way the entire week, which was empowering!). When it comes down to it, having a travel partner does mean you’re sharing the responsibility of travel logistics and translation to some degree. Traveling by yourself, it’s all you. Away from the normal pace of life at home, new and unexpected situations happen with greater speed and intensity. You’ll be dining in restaurants by yourself. You’ll be navigating airports, transportation systems, foreign languages by yourself. You’ll see and experience things you would not have if you’d stayed home (and isn’t that the point?). Proving to yourself time over time that you can handle it - this builds. It stays with you when you get back. And it feels pretty good.
3. You can design your dream trip, because there’s no one to compromise with. Traveling by yourself? Congratulations, you are officially the master of your own destiny. You get to do whatever the hell you want to do, and you can plan the trip (and change it at whim!) however you want. Are you intent on seeing every major cultural site in your destination? Not everyone would be, but screw them, they’re not here! Care to spend a few extra hours in that museum, or linger a little while longer in a city than planned? No consensus is needed, because there’s no group (or accompanying group-think) to have any say in the shape or pace your trip takes. There’s also no group-dynamic drama to distract you from your awesome independent-lady adventure. Nice.
4. You’ll meet more (and more interesting) people when you travel solo. For one thing, if you’re alone, you might be more approachable by other friendly folks, but not having a travel partner makes you more likely to initiate conversation with new people too. If you’re traveling in a big group, you’re in a bubble – you’re not truly immersing yourself. Take advantage of your solo status by booking at traveler’s hostels, where there are a lot of common areas and activities, and people are often open to meeting new people. You might make some amazing new friends this way – and even potential future travel partners. In fact, there are entire group tours available for people traveling solo. I’m not big on group tours, but if you’re new to traveling and shy, that could be a great way to break the ice.
5. On that note, it’s worth noting that solo travel is great for both introverted and extroverted types. Hello Miss Introvert, you’re better equipped for the solo aspects of traveling alone, because spending time alone is how you recharge. You’re also more likely to appreciate the way it allows you to experience more than traveling with a group. And Miss Extrovert? You’re probably outgoing, which makes you better equipped to make new friends during your trip; you’ll appreciate those connections that you may not have made if you went with someone you already know.